Michelle takes the pen today on a phenomenon affecting us all in American culture.
Some days, I end a Zoom meeting marathon and think “Whew!!!! It’s a miracle I made it through that day.” I’d better grab a quick break before I begin again … whether writing that article, prepping for tomorrow’s meetings .. or designing a training on team trust.
My goal for 2024 has been to have less of those “whew!” days and more “wow” days. Wow days are those ones where my heart feels full .. after having the most amazing collaboration, meditating on a truly thought-provoking podcast or feeling the breeze on my face riding my glorious new e-bike along Lake Champlain.
I know I am not alone. Overwhelm is perhaps the most sticky challenge we see in our work. So many leaders, teams and organizations are just trying to survive this day / week / season .. with hopes of more spaciousness ahead. But that day never seems to come.
Busyness in America has morphed from a short-term condition to a way of life. Adam Waytz in his book “The Power of Human” shares an anecdote about an immigrant he met who defined “busy” as a synonym for “good!” Why? Because when he asked people, “How are you doing?” most of the time they responded, “Busy.”
Arianne Huffington calls burnout “The disease of our civilization.” (HuffPost, 2013)
What Is Burnout? How is Busyness connected?
The World Health Organization added burnout to its International Classification of Diseases in 2019. (If that isn’t a signal, I don’t know what is!) In it, they called burnout a
"a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed."
Busyness occurs in cultures where organizations and individuals equate activity with achievement. It emphasizes constant activity and productivity as a sign of status. Prolonged exposure to high workloads, or constant busyness across the domains or work and personal responsibilities leads to burnout, characterized by emotional exhaustion, cynicism, and reduced professional efficacy.
What Causes Burnout?
Given that busyness is endemic to American culture, it is part of the “water we swim in.” But it’s also in us as the swimmers. In America, we have equated job title and busyness with our value and worth.
When we tackle the challenge of overwhelm with our clients, we work at several levels:
Shifting organizational culture
Teaching teams to work and support one another differently
Transform individual mindsets about work and self-worth
Let’s start today with what is within your own locus of control. Gallup shows that several factors impact an individual’s experience of burnout:
Of Course Hours Do Matter - Gallup reports that burnout risk increases significantly when employees exceed 50 hours (and the average American works 47 right now).
But So Does Your Experience of Work - In fact, Gallup says that has an even stronger influence on stress and burnout. With a recent client, our diagnostics showed that their team’s happiness was much more tied to how many “yucky” projects they were on simultaneously than to their hours.
We Also Believe It’s What Is Happening Outside of Work - We have all seen people leave when they are experiencing family crises outside of work and their manager feels to meet the moment with grace and flexibility. On the opposite side, life can be a protective factor even when work is big. While I had some big, challenging projects this year - my memories of 2024 are also filled with raucous laughter at a new monthly “potluck and Anomia game nights” with friends, discovering creativity (and dare I say a tiny bit of talent!?!) at my first art class .. and our family’s unbridled excitement about a once in a lifetime winter trip that’s planned!
Shifting From Burnout to Your Best Life
We are thinking a lot this season about how we help you create more “wow” at work rather than “whew! I made it through the day!” and how to bring more joy. Here are a few ways to start:
Reconnect with Your Purpose and Power. Remember that it is not your work, but your experience of your work, that most impacts whether you are on the path to thriving or the path to burnout. For leaders who feel they just can’t continue anymore, we recommend first going within to ensure you are “consciously choosing” rather than “running from” and carrying those same over-the-top habits to the next workplace.
To begin reclaiming “you”, start by creating a little spaciousness (with a coach, with a friend or just at a Saturday morning coffee shop) to pull up to what matters to you. What do you care about in the world and in workplaces? What problems would you love to solve, or what opportunities would you love to be part of? If you bring to mind three “peak moments” in your career where you felt most alive, what do those tell you about what lights you up? Maybe even try making a personal mission statement. Then discuss your musings with someone who can help you pull out the themes and reflect.
With those reflections in mind, ask yourself “What one thing, if it was different, would make my current role or organization a place I could thrive? Who would I need to influence to make that a possibility?” Sometimes it isn’t until the status quo is no longer tolerable that we discover what power we actually had all along.
Build Better Relationships. A sneaky thing happened over the last few years. People left and moved out of big cities to less crazy lives (yay!). Employers hired a lot and diversified their workforces (yay!). Many of us are working from home which gave us more flexibility to move from home to work (yay! Research shows most people prefer to work from home at least some of the time).
The unintended consequence, I’m realizing, is that we feel more disconnected with relative strangers on the other end of our meetings. Teams do fun virtual check-ins, but then there is an awkward silence when the leader asks a question for discussion. Or we finish a Zoom call and think “huh! That person did something weird. Is it just me or …?” Then we jump onto another call and the cycle continues.
Over time, relationships at work can get a little funky (not disastrous but not heart-filling either!), which is especially tricky when our connection bucket isn’t getting filled with rich relationships outside of work. Any little bit of drama at work becomes an absolute energy guzzler. After lots of practice helping others work through these energy drains, we developed this Relationship Spirals Tool which been magical at helping clients find their ways from workplace pinches to deep nourishing partnerships.
Discover What You Love. When my twins started college last year, I looked gratefully on those 17 years when I was able to both be the mom I wanted to be, and also lead inspiring and impactful work. It wasn’t until I did those two dorm drop-offs and moved to Vermont (yes, all in one week) that I realized I was still pretty fuzzy on the “me” that wasn’t constantly attending to someone else!
This year has been a glorious exploration of “Who am I if not just a mom, or a leader?” It turns out I’m actually kind of cool (in my own geeky way)! I took print-making and jewelry classes (with people twenty years younger) and discovered I’m an artist (a phrase not uttered since my finger painting days.) I rediscovered how much I love (no, I mean really LOVE) pretty much any outdoor activity when no one is there to complain about the hike / bike / ski slope. And I’m finding that I’m connected, and remembering I am a connector. I live now in a warm, dynamic community with, as my husband said last week, “the highest percentage of good humans I’ve ever met” - making it easy to be open-hearted and engaged. From The Moth storytelling events to Dragon Boat racing to Jeffersonian style dinners, I’m embracing it all, and truly re-discovering how fun I am beyond “work + mom.”
Let’s face it. When we are in the thick of it, it’s easy to let our life run us. Without a stake in the ground of the nonnegotiables that make life extraordinary outside of work, those things we love that take as much as we’ll give (whether work or kids or board work) can run roughshod over our joy. When you have a couple of weeks or months where you see nothing ahead but work, see it as a flag that you must put stakes in the ground to build a different future. Reflect on the moments where you feel most alive, and schedule “sticky” commitments (those where you are accountable to yourself to show up - whether through tickets, waiting friends, etc).
If you’re feeling drained, lacking inspiration and connection at work, missing time with family or friends or even up at night wondering how you’ll get it all done, we hope you too will declare this a year of “wow!” rather than “whew! I made it through the day (or week or month).”
Together, let’s work to nudge this epidemic of burnout into remission!
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